I Don't Wanna Be A Bummer

by Tailpipe Distillery

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    Homemade Tailpipe Distillery CD's of my latest album.
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I don't wanna be a bummer. A year's worth of writing and month's worth of recording put towards what I believe to be the best that Tailpipe Distillery can create in its current state.

Creating this album was a blast. During this last year I met a lot of really cool people and musicians, I played a few really awesome shows, started and finished my first semester of college, and went through a handful of jobs. I learned a lot through music, work, school, and just existing. This album is kinda a record of the last 365 er so days condensed into about 23min.

After completing these songs I decided that it's time for Tailpipe Distillery to change. I'm not really sure what it'll be changing into, but I hope it'll be something great in the future.


released January 16, 2016

This album would not have happened at all without all my friends, old and new, as well as my family, who still put up with my screaming. (sorry Mom)

Thank you to Luke Hendricks, Lance VanGlahn (I think that's how it's spelled), Jesse Grease, Max Narotzky, Tim Nieuwenhuis, everybody from Camp Nejeda I worked with last summer, and a bunch of other people I probably forgot to mention for listening to my music and being cool and supportive even when I sent you the same song like 7 times to listen to again and again (Sorry Tim)

A huge thanks to Allison Stroyan for making the album art (which I love) and also for her feedback on the album. She was a huge help with the art and with the recording process. Allison makes some fantastic art which you can see more of here: www.behance.net/destroyan

Another huge thanks to Matt Sacchi for being an awesome friend. Also thank you so much for letting me use your recording equipment and giving some really helpful feedback. Also, sorry I only ended up using one of our recordings (Caroline). Matt was a huge help with the recording and I hope we can work on more stuff in the future.

An equally huge thanks to my amazing girlfriend Caroline for just willingly putting up with me for the last 6 months even when I was just being dumb. You've been a huge help to me in almost every way these last few months. I love being around you and just knowing you. Thank you so much for putting up with me.

One last huge thank you to my family, especially Cat, for letting me continue to live here after spending a few weeks screaming and playing guitar too loud.

To anybody I forgot to thank personally, I sincerely apologize.



all rights reserved
Track Name: Far Out
I wish I was an idiot
I wish my brain would just stop functioning
for a day or 3 or 4 or maybe more

I wish I lived in outer space
I wish I didn't know about this place
I wish my eyes would just fall out of my face

I wanna know what life is like on mars
I wish that I could touch a star
So that my body would burn up and fade away

I wish I was far out
Far outta reach

They say you should be careful what you wish for
And I say to them "well there's the door"
If you wanna go, that's alright by me
If you wanna leave, then just leave

I wish I was far out
Far outta reach
Track Name: Diet Coke
I feel so distant these days
I feel so lost and out of place
I feel like what I say doesn't usually make any sense
I feel like a waste of time
Somehow more silent than a mime
I could use just one more rhyme to make this line sound right
It sounds much better in my head
Than it did inside your bed

Sometimes I wish that I was dead
Sometimes I wish I was alive

Sticking close to the wall at your party
cuz I don't wanna talk to you so please don't talk to me
I'll just stand here sipping my diet coke
til the appropriate time comes for me to go

Sometimes I wish that I was dead
Sometimes I wish I was alive

(cue the twinkly emo breakdown bit for all the sad bois)

Sometimes I wish that I was alive

I want to go home
I don't wanna be alone
I want to go to sleep
cuz when I dream you're right next to me

and I know that sounds cheesy
but I really like you
and I hope you like me too

Sometimes I wish that I was alive
Track Name: Closer to Home
I'm freaking out again
making plans with all my friends
but it feels like nothing's changed since I was 12 years old

I'm still counting pennies and dimes
to keep up with the good times
I wouldn't call it broke, but it definitely needs fixing

I'm working round the clock
but I wouldn't call it a job
no I swear they used similar techniques during the wars

I drop my paychecks
straight into my gas tank
and wonder why I have not moved away

to somewhere
a little closer to home

I've gotta make mistakes to learn from my mistakes
how else am I gonna grow up
I hate myself right now, rather I hate what it is I'm doing
I'd like to be comfortable in my own skin

I'd like to be somewhere
a little closer to home
Track Name: Bloody Nose, Broken Bones
I won't be able to sleep tonight
but I guess that's nothing new to me
I had that dream again where I get in a fight
an all out brawl between myself and me

bloody nose broken bones and the rest

I won't be able to focus tomorrow
not on school or work or anything
it won't be safe to drive in my car oh
but then again I guess it never really is

bloody nose broken bones and the rest

I got lost again on my way home
these roads wind and wind in what seem like circles
driving through the fog I felt alone
til that SUV flew by like some jerk

bloody nose, broken bones and the rest
Track Name: The Tortoise and The Hare
getting hugs from the wall
my new best friend
I don't feel bad at all
I just like to pretend

boxes inside of boxes
packed underneath my bed
me myself and I all crammed
awkwardly in my head

If happiness is a warm gun then I think I'd rather be sad
If I was hangin' out with you right now I think that would be rad
but when it comes to articulating I am kind of bad
and stuff like that just makes me mad

the tortoise has a temper the hare runs real fast
just like the incredible hulk you wont like him when he's mad
the tortoise has a temper his fuse it burns fast
and when the bomb finally goes off everyone will here the blast

in the form of a buzzfeed article titled "you won't believe this is true"

not a day slips pass
where I don't think of you
you call me a jerk and an ass
and I agreed with you
but I swear if I'm late to class
than I am blaming you
I blame you
but you is me
I am a liar and a thief
I need room to breathe
but me is a control freak

I wanna live in a bubble
but I am a prick
Track Name: Miles
I'm sick of the morning
I'm sick of waking up and feeling sick
sick to my stomach of all the people around me
they surround me
with funhouse mirrors

I'm tired of walking
and I'm tired from walking to class
tired from staying up to late talking to you I didn't notice the time
cuz you make everything alright

You help get my train of thought back on track
you help me to avoid all of my impending panic attacks
I'm thankful you cut me so much slack
I really don't deserve you

I hate every mile between us but I love what's on the other side
I hate not being able to see you but I love when I do
I hate that I'm so scared but I love that you understand
Track Name: X's on My Shoes
It reminded me of you
so I drew X's on my shoes
I watched the sky turn from grey
to a deeper shade of blue

I woke up again today
but I stayed up way too late
talking to a girl in atlantic city
and here friend I think her name was jade

your eyes are pretty I think you look pretty
I don't say it enough so I feel shitty
I won't be able to focus in class
I'll be thinking of you I just think you're pretty

I don't think that I can stress that enough
no I don't think that I can stress out enough
sometimes I think that I think too much
no I don't think that I stress out enough
Track Name: Caroline
Caroline oh Caroline
would you could you please be mine
if not forever than for a little while

you'll have to help m figure this out
cuz I have no idea what I'm talking about
watch me play with words til they fit right

Caroline oh Caroline
would you could you keep in mind
I'm not one for doing most things right

and I'm not really one for showing affection
so could you please point me in the right direction

Caroline oh Caroline
would you could you be mine
Caroline oh Caroline
Caroline oh Caroline
Track Name: Jade's Message
(Jade's Message)

Jade left a message on my cellphone
that may have changed my outlook permanently
Jade left a message on my cellphone
I don't think she knows how much it means to me

Jade left me
Jade left me a message she